Do the right-for-you thing

I have an embarrassing amount of mother/baby/parenting/breastfeeding/potty training/anything to do with raising a child book in my personal library. The first thing I did after finding out I was pregnant was go to Borders and purchase the books I would then read into the wee hours for the next 9 months. After 3 pregnancies I still found myself reading every chapter of "What to expect when your expecting" to now only come to the conclusion that not much happens in a pregnancy that you have any control over, and alot of the times things happen that aren't in the books at all. If I'm not reading up on every little boo-boo, milestone, or some issue my kids are going through I'm googling it. I recently googled "my 2 year old wakes up screaming from his nap" which Finley had been doing for several weeks. All the google responses I got pointed to autism (panic)! 3 days later he no longer woke up screaming from his naps (sigh of relief). After all the reading and googling I've done I could qualify as a human encyclopedia on children from 0-2 years. With the birth of Harper came the birth of my adjusted way of parenting:following my gut and doing what's right for me. This method has come to my attention mostly out of necessity. For instance, Finley wanted to start using the big boy potty a few weeks after Harper was born. This required me to abandon Harper to his pack-and-play,bouncy seat, or swing several times a day to help Finley and his potty needs(Finley was NEVER left alone in any sort of baby container for any length of time, I once peed while he was alseep on me). During these times Harper may have been nursing or sleepy and it would make him cry when he was set down. After a few times Harper eventually got use to this and would put him self to sleep and take his nap appropriately, in his crib alone (not nursing or rocking on me the entire time as Finley did). This has resulted in my 7 week old baby falling asleep on his own for his nap and is sleeping through the night (Finley slept through the night maybe by 7 months). By trusting my gut that Harper was safe in his crib and didn't need me to help him take his nap he is a much healthier sleeper. We are both happier for this. With all the endless reading comes an endless barrage of conflicting advice,then I have too sort through it all and puzzle it together in a sleep-deprived hormonal stupor and in the meantime my common sense (if you keep nursing, rocking and patting a baby he wont sleep soundly-would you?) has fallen by the wayside. Yes, I will admit Harper shed some tears through this and nothing is more excruciating than hearing a baby cry. My gut reminded me-he is not alone, he is not scared, he is not hungry, he is not in pain. Finley being my first child I was afraid of not doing everything just right and if he cried that was a sign of my failure-I always felt like I was failing. Now that I have consciously set the idea of perfectionism and (some) of the books aside, the answers have become clearer-sleeping babies need to stay sleeping (even if still in a car seat) and hungry babies need to eat (probably not for an hour though). My goal now has been to stay somewhere in between neglect and paranoia and to realise there is a maternal legacy we all encompass. I doubt my great grandmother read "What to Expect When Your Expecting"
Disclaimer: In no way is my new approach to parenting guilt-free (but is there really one?)